When You’re Panicking
by nataliexkathryne
Summary: resumbit it's hard to think straight in times of crisis, something sirius knows all to well.


**When you're panicking**

**Disclaimer: **I've never written on a statue in a hotel in my life

God Damnit! God damnit, god damnit, god-sodding-damnit! How the bloody hell did this happen. I shouldn't be here; I should be with my family, with the other Slytherin's. I should be getting better acquainted with members of the other high-class pureblood families. I should be doing just as my father instructed. What I should not being doing is sitting at this bloody table with this sorry excuse for a human being who has not once looked up from his plate since the sodding food appeared!

First chance I get I plan to rip that hat into shreds. I'll do it very slowly, first I'll pull the seams apart, and then I cut it into the smallest possible pieces. Then I'll feed it to that blasted giant squid that andromeda was always on about. Oh yes, the hat would pay for what it has done to me.

And who's that red headed git who's calling us? Oh, right, prefect. May as well follow, if I'm going to be stuck in Gryffindor I may as well know my way to the common room. I think I've seen this prefect before, last name's Wesley or something equally stupid. He may be one of my cousins, Pureblood of course, but the whole family is bunch of blood traitors.

Oh, we're here already? That didn't take to long; I thought we were supposed to be in one of the towers... oh bugger, I've got no clue how we got here.

"Niger Proditor"

I think that's the password… the portrait's moving aside, it must be the password, wonder what It means. I'm guessing something unbelievably that only a Gryffindor would come up with. Where is everyone anyway? Oh bloody hell, they could atleast wait for me. No, wait. Portrait lady don't close! Oh blast it!

"Password?"

Hahaha. I had her there. "Niger Predator" that's right now let me it.

Why isn't she moving?! let me in. I said the bloody password, now let me in!

"You planning on opening anytime soon?"

"Manner's please. I'll gladly open when you give me the correct password."

"I just bloody well did!"

Just wait I need, a portrait with an attitude problem. I suppose I'll just stay out here all night then shall I? I'll simply freeze my practically royal ass cheeks off while everyone else lies up in there's comfortable inviting beds? That's just fine. Stupid hat, stupid portrait, stupid Gryffindor.

"Oh, for god's sake get up! The password is Niger _proditor_ okay? Now get inside!"

Well who am I to say no to such a lovely invitation. Smart ass portrait. That's exactly what I said, okay perhaps not exactly; but it was a good enough try. I have half a mind to say out here and keep her awake all night! Oh, who am I kidding, it's much to cold.

Jesus Christ. Who decided to make this entrance so small? It's suffocating trying to get through here; surely it could have been bigger. Then they'd need to get a bigger portrait to cover it, I might say something about it. Get rid of the smart-assed overweight woman. Eh, maybe later. I'm suddenly very, very tired. The sooner I get to sleep the better.

Actually the sooner I get away from these people the better. Yes I know I haven't spoken to them yet. No, I'm not going to give them a chance.

"Hello"

For heaven's sake!

"sod.off"

That wasn't all that harsh.

"I'm sorry, no need to be so harsh"

THAT WASN'T HARSH

Where are the god damned dormitories? Ah, stairs. That must be it then. Just have to get over to them without making eye-contact with anyone then nobody will feel the need to address me. Yes victory! Now to get to the top quickly and without incident. OWW!! Bloody hell. I believe I said without incident. That sodding stair hurt my toe. This tower is out to get me I swear it!

One step, two steps, OW! One step, two steps OW! One step, two… Finally, the first year's dormitory. Just kick the door open. OW! OW! OW! Okay, push the door open in the demure fashion that your mother taught you and... Oh Christ!! Not the boy's dormitory, something I genuinely did not need to see, that Bulstrode girl with her top off.

Well atleast she didn't see you Sirius. You just have to use the other set of stairs is all. Should be much easier now that you've concurred one set. Alright, as long as there is no other gender residing in this house I think I'm safe with this room.

"Hello"

Jesus Christ! Maybe if I just ignore them they'll go away.

"I said hello"

"I heard you"

"I'm sure you did but you didn't answer me"

"I felt no need to, you have no reason to speak to me, nor I to you."

I honestly don't thing you can beat sound logic like that.

"Why not?"

Well you can't beat sound logic unless you ask that one particular question.

"I don't know, I'm a black. You should just fear me or something. You know 'vile dark wizard' stuff like that."

"HA!"

What? What's so funny?

"Let me correct you, you're a black who'd been sorted into Gryffindor. If anything I should be laughing at you.

And so the right bloody git did. And I happen to feel the insane urge to join him.

**Author's note: **yeah, strangely enough I couldn't be bothered abbreviating, go figure.

This is a repost of a story I wrote about 5 months ago. I know the quality isn't great but personally I consider it a rather cute little one-shot.

However your opinion will be much more objective then mine so feel free to share it.

**p.s.** 2 DAYS UNTIL DH!


End file.
